I woke up at 2 AM thinking about my past relationships and my relationship with myself ( I think it’s the jet lag). 😣
To be fair, before I got married, I only had 3 relationships.
❌1st was for 3 months (My first love, totally broke my heart).
❌2nd was for about 10 years (on and off Rachel/Ross from Friends Scenario – a bad version of it).
❌3rd was for 3 years and didn’t get the happily ever after either.
What I learned from my 3 relationships over the years were that…
😔I had very little confidence in myself
😕 I didn’t love myself enough and felt that love needed to be earned
😔 I craved to be loved and I literally would do anything to be loved.
🙄 I never felt good enough
Which I believe are feelings that are commonly shared.
Where did these feelings and beliefs come from?
My childhood experiences, mainly my relationships with people who cared for me, who educated me and there was also my community and friends who affected how I saw myself back then…etc.
😭I was compared right left centre, I was made to feel stupid in school, I also had the middle child syndrome thinking and feeling that my mum favored my siblings over me, I didn’t have many friends, I was said that I would never mount to anything by my teachers.
😭I was never skinny or smart enough, I didn’t get any compliment or praise from anyone (culturally normal), I was smacked in school ( it was just how adults disciplined children in my era), I was never sporty or arty enough to win any competition or awards, I was never able to truly share my thoughts and feelings.
I was feeling insignificant.
I knew my parents love me dearly but knowing what I know now, I wish there was help for professionals, and parents with parenting back then, so my parents and many other parents would have known
✅ how to build their children/teens’ self-confidence,
✅ how to make them feel special
✅ how to teach them to speak up and always share their thoughts and feelings as they truly matter
✅ how to accept who they are and love themselves unconditionally
Being a parent is the most admirable profession in the world, there will be days you feel amazing and rewarding being a parent, but there will be days you feel completely crap about being a parent. They are both normal.
You are a parent, but there’s also a little boy and girl inside you.
Look after them so that you can look after your teens well.
You may feel that your teen hates you, and doesn’t want to speak to you, or hang out with you.
You may feel lost about their challenging behaviour, their emotional and mental health struggles, and any other aspects of their teenage life.
It’s ok and you are not alone.
Just to make sure that despite of these feelings…
Make them feel special, feel loved, feel empowered, feel confident, feel accepted and feel efficient and valued.
So that they can thrive and continue to grow and navigate the most challenging part of life journey – being a teenager
So that they can have a better relationship with themselves and future others.
You absolutely can and are the most influential person in your teen’s life.
Start today, 1 small change and 1 step at a time.
If you don’t know how, contact me now because I CAN HELP YOU LIKE NO ONE CAN.
Remember,
🌈 There's always hope, endless hope
Warmly Pei-I
Parenting consultant and Teen Expert @ Rainbow Parenting Practice
P.S . I help parents parent their teens with challenging behaviour effectively and have a harmonious family life in 90 days.
Here's the link to THE TTP METHOD if you would like to find out more about how I can help your family.
https://www.rainbowparentingpractice.com/raisingthrivingteensaccelerator
Once you get on to the website, Enter your information, and you will get all the secrets to how I make it possible to help families with challenging behaviour to have a harmonious family life in 90 days.
Next I'd like to invite you to schedule your Raising Thriving Teens call where I will share with you the common threads that keep the challenges going at home and practical strategies to help you start moving things forward.