Last week, I shared that working with a parenting and teen challenging behaviour specialist can help boost your confidence and skills as a parent, and offer you the support and reassurance you need when navigating the difficult journey (read here) We know there's no parenting manual to show you how to parent your teenage children. You learn how to parent through your own experiences of being parented. You are not always aware of how your past influences your future and present, and this requires a specialist to help you better understand.
This led to another question if you have ever found yourself wondering, "What's really going on behind my teenage children's anger, withdrawal, or risky behavior?" Why are they taking drugs? Why do they look depressed or why don't they have any positive friends? or Why do they treat me so disrespectfully when I have given them everything I have.
Behind every challenging or difficult behaviour lies a hidden story, a complex mix of emotions, needs, and experiences that shape your teenager's behaviour.
When you are in the situation where you constantly have to manage your teen's difficult behaviour at home, it's really easy to fall into the blame game towards yourself, your teen or others. It can also drive you to focus on symptoms like arguments, uncooperative, negative vibes, defiance and so on. When you do that, you are only scratching the surfaces.
Understanding the "why" behind the "what" is crucial to breaking the cycle of challenging behaviour. This is how you can truly help your troubled teens who have social, emotional behavioural, neurodevelopmental and psychological difficulties learn to navigate their world effectively without acting out or withdrawing. This also fosters a positive, connected relationship with your teenage children.
I have seen many families at breaking point because no matter what they do, nothing is changing. It's because they have not found the right person to help them understand the "Why".
This is where a parenting and teen challenging behaviour specialist can become your invaluable resource. The second reason - Seeing the Unseen
I act as a detective, not judge, delving deeper than surface-level symptoms to uncover the root causes of your teenager's struggles and your family difficulties with you by better understanding your unique family blueprint
Here are some of the common hidden "WHY" storylines I explore with parents.
Unseen Emotional Burdens: Your teenager might be grappling with anxiety, depression, or stress related to academics, peers, or social media or conflictual dynamics at home, and so could you as a parent. We help you identify these underlying emotional struggles and equip you with tools to support your and your teenage children's emotional well-being.
Unvoiced Communication: Often, teenagers struggle to express their feelings effectively, leading to frustration and outbursts. We help you decode their nonverbal cues and create safe spaces for open communication, where your teenage children feel heard and understood.
Unmet Needs: Sometimes, challenging behavior stems from unmet needs for connection, belonging, or autonomy. I help you identify these needs and develop strategies to support your teenage children's healthy development in a way that promotes trust and collaboration. I don't stop here, because in order to help you meet your teenage children's needs, we also need to explore how your needs are met.
Unrecognized Influences: hormones, emotions, brain development, peer pressure, social media, parenting styles, and family dynamics can all contribute to your teenager's behaviour. I help you navigate these external influences and equip you with techniques to guide your teenage children towards healthy choices and positive role models.
Unknown family scripts: you feel like you're replaying scenes from your own childhood when interacting with your teenager. Certain parenting situations trigger familiar emotions, even if you consciously try to act differently. These invisible threads, woven from our family history and passed down through generations, are known as family scripts. These scripts, often unconscious, dictate how you perceive yourself, relate to others, and navigate challenges. While some scripts can be positive, guiding you toward healthy behaviours, others can be limiting, leading to repeating patterns that impact how you parent. The good news is that despite the influence of family scripts, you have the power to choose by becoming aware of these invisible threads.
By uncovering the hidden story behind your teenager's behaviour and your family, you gain a deeper understanding of your teenage children's challenges and yours. This empowers you to move beyond reactive responses and implement proactive solutions that truly address the root causes.
I can not stress enough that seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it's a testament to your commitment to your teenage children's well-being and your own growth as a parent.
Together, we can rewrite the narrative, breaking the cycle of challenging behavior and fostering a healthy, connected family dynamic.
If you're ready to embark on this journey of discovery, reach out today and let's work together to unlock the hidden story and build a brighter future for you and your teenager.
Find out more information here.
Until then,
Remember, 🌈there's always hope, endless hope
Pei-I, Parenting and Teen Challenging behaviour Specialist @ Rainbow Parenting Practice
.png)
Comentarios