Self-Care: love and nurture yourself
You must be thinking how self-care has anything to do with parenting your teens with challenging behaviour. It is a very valid question as most of us struggle to put ourselves first and some may even consider this a selfish behaviour because as parents, we need to put our children first. They need us. It is correct. Our children need us.
They need a parent that is patient, caring, understanding, containing, consistent, loving and so on. When we are worn out, feeling tired, stressed or overwhelmed, we lose the capacity to be that parent our children need. We more likely to become shouty, impatient, less empathetic, less understanding and we are also more likely to make more mistakes when parenting.
It is therefore the most important strategy that I must encourage all parents to incorporate in their day-to-day life as only when you learn to look after yourself, love yourself in every possible way, that you can become or continue to be the parent that brings out your teens' best potential through your loving self. This will in turn also allow you to have more fun being a parent.
So, what is self-care exactly? Self-Care is not about financial indulgence on a 5-star hotel with a spa. It is little things we do every day that nurture our soul, body, mind and heart, such as taking a walk in the nature, listening to music we love, spending time with people that nourish us, watching your favourite programme, sleeping/napping, having a long bath, socialising with your best friend, reading, painting…etc. Things that will help us recuperate, relax and recharge.
It sounds easy to look after ourselves, however, it’s more challenging to do than it appears. I’d like to invite all the parents to start on the self-care journey by giving yourself the permission to priorities yourself to enable you to become the parent you aspired to be for your teens.
This is how you do it……
· List a few things/activities that can nurture you (remember they can be very small things and be as creative as you can be)
· Plan your intentions ahead as it’s more likely that we will stick to it
· Take a temperature of your body/mind/soul/heart – how does it feel after some nurturing time
· Keep doing this everyday
Love yourself so that you can provide lots of love for your teens and family.
until then
🌈 There's always hope, endless hope.
Warmly
Pei-I, Parenting Consultant and Teen Expert
P.S . I help parents parent their teens with challenging behaviour effectively and have a harmonious family life in 90 days.
Here's the link to THE TTP METHOD if you would like to find out more about how I can help your family.
https://www.rainbowparentingpractice.com/raisingthrivingteensaccelerator
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