How would you feel when your date doesn’t ask you out for a second date?
How would you feel after 3, or 5 or 10 individual dates with different people, and no one asks you out for a second date??
Devastated. 😥
The first time, you probably will talk yourself around, saying.. I don’t like him/her anyways. It’s their loss.
2nd time, 3rd time? You will still talk yourself around to make yourself feel better..
But… the big but..
After 10 dates with 10 different people and no one asks you back for a second date.
You will eventually reach a place where you doubt yourself.
You start to think..
Is it me??
Am I not likeable or lovable?
Is it my hair? My face?
Did I come across too keen? Too shy? too much or too little?
It must be me because no one asks me out again..
You will lose your confidence in yourself.
You will start feel wary about going on more dates.
Let me say this “It’s NOT YOU” but I know it’s not going to change how you really feel until you actually have got asked for 2nd date so that you can stop your self-doubts.
Now .. thinking about your teen….
They need you to spend time with them even their behaviour is saying otherwise, because when you don't spend time with your time,
You teen will eventually feel “ I am not lovable and It’s me” too, if you …
don’t make them feel valued or loved
always choose to work on your business or other priorities before you choose your teen
don’t try to understand what your teen is going through as a teen and their feelings by spending time with them and talking to them
Your teen will eventually not want to speak or spend time with you.
It is important for you to prioritise your teen, and that means you will show up for them, be available and be there for them everyday.
Start with scheduling quality time with your teenager, and Take your teen out on a date to connect with them, to find out what's happening in their life, and what they are feeling and thinking.
There are many different ways you can spend time with your teen and doesn't always have to involve a lot of money, such arrange a movie night, play a game together, bake together...etc.
There maybe times, your teen will act like they don't want to spend time with you or are busy with their friends. If it's the former, don't panic, simply tell your teen that your date with them is important and you are looking forward to it. If your teen has a busy social and school life, you would still want to make sure that you have time together, and in addition to this, there are another 3 ways stay connect with your teen. This does wonders.
Ask your teen where they would like to go on a date..
Until then,
Remember,
🌈 There's always hope, endless hope
Warmly Pei-I
Pei-I, Parenting and Teen challenging behaviour specialist @ Rainbow Parenting Practice
P.S. I empower high-achieving mums to help their troubled teens who get stuck in patterns of challenging behaviour with ease, success and have a harmonious family life in 90 days using
TTP Method. The quickest, most effective and most impactful method to strengthen your family connections and change your family story.
Start with your Raising Thriving Teens 5 Day Mini Taste? Book here
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