Do YOU think it should be raised? Parenting and relationships experts are at odds over the effects of such a move - The Sun
My thoughts on the age of consent?
Being a professional working with children and young people for nearly 30 years, under-age sex has always been a concern for all professionals, and over the past 10 plus years, I have seen a significant increase of under age sexual activities due to the convenience of technology and social media use. It is worrying.
We understand that teenagers are at the age of being curious about sex, and sexual activities, but it is important for the public and teeangers to understand that under-age sexual activity is a potential safeguarding (child welfare and child protection) concern in the UK. It is also everyone’s responsibility to report concerns to relevant professionals when you are worried about a child or a young person who may be involved in under age sexual activities.
The scandal of Russell Brand was brought to my attention through a social media post ironically, and I shared my views on the age of consent in the article published by Fabulous Magazine, the Sun.
In summary, the article noted that Pei-I Yang is the parenting specialist and expert in challenging teen behaviour behind Rainbow Parenting Practice.
She has worked with many parents and young people who regret losing their virginity at 16 or younger, and believes the age of consent should be raised to 18, as research suggests the brain does not reach maturity until around age 25.
“Many are still in the process of developing into their own person psychologically, emotionally, mentally, physically and socially,” she says.
“There are a lot of overwhelming changes, and one of the last areas of brain development is the limbic and prefrontal cortex, required for good judgement and controlling impulses.
“As a result, teens are more likely to make impulsive decisions. They tend to focus on the now and pleasure, not about consequences.
“As well as protecting teenagers from being sexually exploited, raising the age of consent would reduce teenage pregnancy, strengthen public health and give teens more time to mature and be supported appropriately before they step into adulthood.”
Do you feel as strongly as I do about the age of consent should be raised?
On this note, I’d like to share with you my thoughts on the questions that were asked of me during the consultation process. Whilst the article is placing emphasis on the girls, my comments are inclusive of all teenagers.
Do you believe the age of consent should be raised and if so, to what age?
Yes, I do believe that the age of consent should be raised. Research has suggested that most young people don't reach full neurological, neuropsychological and psychological cognitive maturity until the age of 25. In addition to this, brain development can be affected by other factors, such as trauma, substance misuse, childhood experiences, abuse, mental health, life adversaries... and so on. What this means is that adolescents/young people will struggle to make better life choices and have the full capacity to make informed decisions about matters affecting their lives.
How would raise age of consent benefit teenage girls?
I think it's important for us to include teenage boys when thinking about age of consent. It appears that society tends to focus on the younger girls with older men. Equally, there are younger boys with older women. We need to provide support, education and pay equal attention to both teenage girls and boys.
With regards to benefits, teenagers are still in the process of developing into their own person psychologically, emotionally, mentally, physically and socially in addition to their brain. There's a lot of overwhelming changes for them internally and externally, as such teenagers are more likely to make decisions impulsively or in the heat of the moment. They tend to focus on the now and pleasure whilst their consequential thinking is still to be developed. They are also learning how to become independent and developing life skills to help them enter adulthood.
The minimum age of consent or the law is there to protect the young people from being sexually exploited or abused. With this in mind, I believe that with raising the age of consent, it shows that the government is taking an active role in protecting the teenagers from being harmed or/and exploited. It is a bit like a protective parent putting appropriate boundaries around their teenagers to help keep them safe - which is what all teenagers need. It also educates the public of the importance that we all have the responsibility to protect teenagers from being harmed.
In addition to this, this will also reduce teenage pregnancy, strengthen public health and provide teenagers more time to mature emotionally and be supported appropriately before they step into adulthood.
That said, raising the age of consent in itself is not sufficient. We also need to provide psycho-education for parents, teenagers, professionals and the public about the vulnerability of the young people regardless if there are other factors affecting their development. It's important to teach teenagers about respectful and healthy relationships, sex, consent, coercion, exploitation, risk around sex/unsafe sex and how to manage difficult and unsafe situations in the face of it. These front end interventions are extremely important and are one of the areas that I don't see enough support for teenagers and their parents. It is also important to promote awareness, and instil responsibilities to the public to report concerns to the relevant professionals when/if they are worried about a teenager maybe in harm's way.
Are girls emotionally mature enough to consent to sex at 16?
It's a very interesting question as I wonder what meaning the society has given to the number/age "16". What does it do for teenagers, adults and professionals around teenagers? It's a socially constructed idea and it means very different things in different cultures and eras too.
There are a lot of overwhelming changes, and one of the last areas of brain development is the limbic and prefrontal cortex, required for good judgement and controlling impulses and with that said I don't think teenagers are likely to have the emotional maturity to consent to sex at the age of 16.
Are some girls more vulnerable than others at 16?
I think all teenagers are vulnerable just because of the nature of their development during the transition to adulthood. They are very likely to engage in risk taking behaviour. However, from my observations in my professional life, there are associated risks that make some teenagers more vulnerable than others, some examples include persistent absence from school, going missing, young people with additional needs, high family conflicts and difficult relationships at home, in addition to what I mentioned earlier - trauma, life adversaries, abuse...etc.
Have you worked with girls/families who regret losing their virginity so young?
Yes I have, and many of them have led to teenage pregnancy, and changed the course of their lives.
What is your view on relationships between girls of 16/17 and older men? Bearing in mind it is legal for a man of any age who could be much older to have sex with a 16-year-old girl. Can this cause issues?
I am answering the question based on the fact that it's a much much older man we are referring to here.
This is quite a difficult question to answer because I hold my own beliefs and values on a professional, ethical and moral level. I do not encourage young people being in relationships as such for all the reasons I spoke above.
Having said that, bearing in mind that there are always the rights of the young people we need to think about as their views are paramount when it comes to matters affecting their lives. It is a hard balance. What I think is important is that the young people are open about their relationships with their parents or/and trusted people around them as an additional measurement to safeguard them.
It is my view that the law doesn't see this as illegal. It doesn't mean it is the right thing to do if we are looking at this issue through different lenses, for example the subject of abortion, people of faith would consider this is sinful in their faith, but this does not necessarily mean that it's illegal in the eyes of the law in certain countries.
I have not come across a parent that encourages or supports their teenagers being in a relationship with a much much older person, and I believe this said volumes.
A 16 year old and a 31 year old are in a very different stage of their life development, it is bound to have many challenges.
Now, you must be wondering…
What about the boys and age of consent?
When I was consulted about my views on the age of consent, as you can see that I made a very important comment that we must think about the boys too when considering the age of consent. It seems that society has false beliefs that the boys are exempted from sexual abuse, exploitation and grooming. In the systematic review research of the state of the literature on sexually exploited boys internationally conducted by Monihan and her colleagues in 2018. It was found in 42 studies from 23 countries, providing evidence that sexual exploitation of boys is an issue in both high- and low-income countries.
Boys are not exempted from potential harm. It is important for the public, professionals, the policy makers, social services and government to carefully consider the impact of the current age of consent on all teenagers to inform the policy and law going forward.
Pei-I, Parenting and Teen Challenging Behaviour Specialist
I empower high-achieving mums to help their troubled teens who get stuck in patterns of challenging behaviour with ease, success and have a harmonious family life in 90 days using TTP Method. The quickest, most effective and most impactful method to strengthen your family connections and change your family story.
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