As I was researching the topics to write about what my expertise can help with, I had a shocking discovery..."How To Parent A Difficult Teenager" was the most searched phrase/topic on google, it made me cringe as it felt really labelling but at the same time, it also made me feel sad about the struggles parents are going through with their teenagers. They are simply misunderstood and not difficult.
I knew this not just because of my professional experience, but also because I was that rebellious teenager that drove my parents up the wall?? There were a lot of disharmonies in my home. My parents were really struggling with me and my behaviour. I was a miserable teenager.
I didn’t feel I belonged to my family and didn’t enjoy being with my family as I felt that they didn’t get me. I was the odd one. I argued with my mum constantly and I bullied my wee sister whenever I could because I was angry all the time. I fought my brother whenever I could. I often locked myself in my bedroom. I was really unhappy, then I started to hang out with pals that were drinking, running away from home, smoking, truanting and causing trouble in school.
I was the way I was despite all the love my parents have for me. Nobody taught them how to be parents or how to parent a teenage girl like me. There was no help back then. My parents did everything that was available to help me. They spoke to friends and family for advice; they put strict boundaries in place; they tried to talk to me and they spoke to school teachers. It was a challenging 6 years for me, my parents and my family.
Fast forward 30 years, who would have known that my whole professional life has been about working with parents who have a younger version of myself in their families. I see both parents and their teens’ struggles.
It has been my life mission to help children, teens and parents – families to have a harmonious family life. I moved to Scotland when I was 27, and when I first started working with vulnerable children, my whole belief system was "supporting families as long as it needs" because I was trained this way.
When I was still a newbie, it sometimes took years to make positive change. Parents were exhausted and probably were thinking, “when this was going to end”. I was feeling demotivated as we didn't seem to be able to get to a place where parents felt confident to manage the challenges on their own.
It didn't work.
Why? I was doing the same thing you are doing.
But after so many years of studying in so many disciplines and applying what I discovered, two fundamental questions emerged for me:
How can I create the most powerful change that's simple and easy for families and in the shortest space of time possible?
How can I integrate and bring my training together for the greatest benefits for families?
Ad guess what, I FOUND THE ANSWERS.
For 10 years, I have helped hundreds of families achieve exceptional positive change at home when their teens were completely out of control and unruly. I am talking about gang stuff, drug dealing, substance misuse, anti-social behaviour, violence… etc. I was able to help families create change in 5 MONTHS.
But this is not good enough for me as I truly believe there must be a more efficient way to help families.
And then it clicked!
I unlocked the secret to help families create happiness and harmony easily in their home in less than 90 days. This is what led to the creation of the “Thriving Together Parenting Method '' (TTP method)- a SIMPLE, STRENGHTS-FOCUSED and SCIENTIFIC method that help parents stop crying in secrets or ripping their hair out trying to find ways to help their teenagers; able to have a lovely dinner together as a family without falling out; go on holiday without having worry about their teen’s behaviour and enjoy their time together, have a laugh with their teens and see their teens reciprocate the affection and become more receptive of their guidance and support.
This was achieved by integrating my training in psychoanalytical thinking (unconscious process), psychology, child development and family therapy.
Think of all these years trying to sail against a really strong current and feel like you are not really making any progress. Sometimes it’s even scarier, imagine trying to stay away from a tornado, and feel like no matter what you do, you still get hurt. Eventually, you wear yourself out, and family relationships break down.
Now imagine being clear on exactly what you need to do and do it easy, simple and successful. It’s like sailing in the current effortlessly. That’s what it feels like when you have the understanding, the right support from the right expert, right strategies and right tools. You start sailing 1 degree off the course to get to the place where you want to be with joy and excitement.
It’s one of the most beautiful and amazing future I could ever hope for families to experience. Happy and harmonious family life can happen for you and your family.
So, here's how it happens.
Step 1. Understanding YOUR UNIQUE FAMILY BLUEPRINT. This is the key to your family's success as we need to know your family’s strengths, needs and how your family behaves, thinks and feels as a unit and as an individual in certain ways systemically, including
✅how your family interacts, relates, communicates, loves, repairs and so on
✅how your individual beliefs, expectations values and experiences of being parented come into play when you interact with your family and the systems around you
✅how your life experiences and any significant events happened in your life impacts on you and your family
You need to know this in order to achieve sustainable change at home.
The results: A better understanding of your family make up so that you can lean into your strengths, leverage the systems around you and learn to do things and manage the challenges differently with more ease and success.
Step 2. “Thriving Together Family behavioural map” is a tool I teach you to investigate the contributing drivers/factors driving your teen's challenging behaviour, and/or any challenges you are facing at home. This helps you gain INSTANT clarity on the "WHYS" and help you target the golden threads that keep the challenges going at home with a focus and effective strategies. Imagine you can help your teens with their challenging behaviour and see big differences at home in less than 24 hours , and feel “OMG, that’s so easy” ”, why hasn’t nobody told me about this”.
The results: Focus your energy on what really works for your teens and family so that you can have time to enjoy your life, go for a walk in the park without worrying about your teen or when the next call from school or the police is coming.
Step 3. PEII Blueprint. The only 4 building blocks you need to know to make a difference in your home. P is positive parenting knowledge and skill to implement strategies consistently, E is effective use of your support, bringing back the village 2.0, I is improving your family relationship and I is improving your family functioning. I have developed a system to help you strengthen each area in your family home.
The results: QUICK positive change in your teen’s behaviour, with you feeling hopeful and at ease, and ready to plan your next holiday with your teens.
Step 4. Exceptional results and sustainability. In a space working with parents of teens with challenging behaviour is not the norm as a lot of parenting consultants won’t touch them with a barge pole. I don’t deal with stroppy teenagers. I work with parents with teenagers who are struggling so much that they're showing extreme challenging behaviour. My TTP method and I are your ONLY pathway to help you help your teenagers with challenging behaviour with success, ease and achieve your goals for your family and help you feel confident about navigating this unique part of parenting journey in 90 days.
The results: You can finally feel confident when making parenting decision; know how to help your teens with the stuff they are struggling with ease and success; feel more connected and calmer in the family, able to manage any difficult behaviour at home confidently; feel the love being reciprocated by your teens; enjoy time together as a family and live in harmony.
Now maybe you’re thinking…this sounds awesome Pei-I but I’m not sure this will work for my family as we have tried everything and no one has ever been able to help my family.
But that’s where you’re wrong.
Over the last 11 years I've helped hundreds of families create happiness and harmony in a very short space of time, and now even faster.
And almost every single one of them said the exact same thing.
You have everything you need as a parent to make the positive change you want at home.
You just need the right framework, the tools, and the strategies to make it work for your family. Most importantly you need an Expert to guide you through this process.
I have all the answers for you in my TTP method.
When you learn how to parent and help your teens with challenging behaviour effectively, it accelerates your relationship at home and strengthens all aspects of your life because when your family is thriving, you are thriving too.
Jenna said that when she learned how to help her teen effectively, her relationship with her teen daughter changed immediately, her family atmosphere changed, and she can focus on her business in less than 5 weeks. 7 months later, they are still living in harmony.
This is possible for you too. Your family is waiting to thrive.
Would you like to start with your Raising Thriving Teens 5 Day Mini Taste? Book here
Until then, Remember
🌈There’s always hope, endless hope
Pei-I, Parenting and Teen Expert @ Rainbow Parenting Practice
P.S. I empower high-achieving mums to help their troubled teens who get stuck in patterns of challenging behaviour with ease, success and have a harmonious family life in 90 days using TTP Method. The quickest, most effective and most impactful method to strengthen your family connections and change your family story.
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